Used Condom Found In Restaurant Salad Bar; Waiter Embarrassed To Tears

Evidence of after-hours activity turned up at a Big Male Child eating house salad barroom in Motor City last week, awkward not only the perpetrators, but nearly everyone associated with the company.

Apparently, Microphone Finney and Rhonda Carrion were working together to fold down the restaurant’s soup, salad and dessert barroom and, with no 1 else around, culminated a nighttime of flirting with sexual intercourse right on the bar. Witnesses said they’d been flirting almost the full shift, and that it was just a substance of time before this happened.

"I talk for the full company," said Big Male Child spokesman, British Shilling Shue, "when I state that we are completely, totally, and unequivocally abashed at this whole situation. I mean, did you see how little that rubber was. Cipher could possibly have got a phallus that small..."

Added Shue, "This really gives Big Male Child a bad name."

The rubber was establish by the morning time set up crew who initially mistook the preventive for a pencil erasure. The incident was immediately reported to the kitchen supervisor. "I didn’t cognize what the Hell it was at first," he said. "I thought it was a chewed-up chicklet."

Due to the incident, two of the original employees on the scene requested the remainder of the twenty-four hours off because they are reportedly still on the interruption room floor, rolling around with uncontrollable laughter.

"I didn’t believe we served runt until Friday," said one doubled-over employee. "The toothpicks are supposed to be at the presence door. I just peed my pants..."

Finney was unavailable for remark owed to the fact that he was reportedly extremely shaken up, and "crying like a small girl." Adding to his predicament, he faces a compulsory write-up, and the possibility of up to a three-day suspension.

"Rhonda is who I really experience bad for," said Shue, "I offered her paid leave, but she desires to work through this...poor thing."

Carrion did, however, release a little statement offering an apology to everyone involved, saying that she was "totally embarrassed" and "completely unaware we even had sex."